observations: January 2006

Can you live in this world and not wonder?

choke or joke?

A choke and a joke have one thing in common – no good in keeping either to yourself.

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clock ticking

Whenever you hear the clock tick, you’re not doing your job.

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black holes

Some black holes may really be entrances to other worlds, but sadly most black holes are just entrances to a world of shit.

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door

When there’s someone at the door – do you get it or do you let them in?

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work, good

Do not grieve if other people do not recognize your good work, grieve if other people recognize your bad work.

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virtue

I believe every man should develop as much virtue as he can and just as much vice for balance.

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four walls

Life inside four walls may be dull, but without the walls you can’t stop the ceiling from falling on your head.

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stress-relief

There are two successful methods of stress-relief – cooking and eating. Unfortunately there is one very certain stress inducing method – shopping. Figure out how to do the first and the second without doing the third, and you’re set for life.

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computer bugs

One way to get rid of programming bugs is to somehow make them seem useful.

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sharks

Sharks never eat people. In fact they are much like us – very inquisitive, and they simply compensate for the lack of fingers by using teeth.

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animals, love

I love animals. I keep many different species. In my freezer, mostly.

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a pen or a sword?

The pen is mightier than the sword – try boarding a plane carrying a sword.

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computers

98 % of all problems solved by computers originate in computers.

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dogs, good

The good thing about dogs is that they don't have wings. This way looking down is enough to avoid what they leave behind.

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my difficult name

It's difficult to remember my name. I know. It took me several years to learn it.

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realism

Realism is humor without the fun bits.

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mattresses

Give me a big enough mattress and I'll jump off any tall building!

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dogs, concept of time

Dogs have a great concept of time, it’s also highly dynamic – some might say chaotic.

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improvisers

An improviser is one who makes mistakes consistently.

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heavy drinking

I am not a heavy drinker. Seventy-some kilos in body weight is not that heavy.

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french wine

French wine tastes fantastic until you drink it.

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books, use

I find little use of books. I don’t own a fireplace.

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gravel

The sound of gravel hitting the coffin is best heard on the outside.

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swimming

I can swim, but I focus on not having to.

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