disease

Disease is nature’s way of saying “I don’t like you.”

tasks, mundane

Whenever a mundane task becomes enjoyable you can be quite sure it’s nearing its end, and when the level of joy just about hits rock bottom you can be quite sure another is about to begin.

basketball

Basketball: as a symptom or the consequence of certain illnesses one or both testicles can grow considerably, thus enabling storage of various items, such as the other testicle.

poets

Many great poets compare sex to many beautiful things instead of having it.

dogs, talk

Some people talk to dogs. They actually do. They're convinced that dogs understand them. So, why don't they tell them to shut up and stop shitting on the pavements?

baseball

Baseball: the testicle all other testicles are based on.

egg? chicken?

Scientists have been arguing about the egg and the chicken for so long they completely neglected the real issue – what came first: the cigar cutter or the guillotine.

statues and figures

The statue representing a spokesperson is a figure of speech, right?